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Writer's pictureMaria Triantafyllou

How to Deal with the Devouring Mother: A Guide to Setting Boundaries and Finding Balance






The relationship between a mother and child is often considered one of the most profound and influential bonds in human life. However, not all mother-child relationships are healthy or nurturing. In some cases, a mother may exhibit behaviors characterized by over-involvement, control, and manipulation, earning her the title of the "Devouring Mother." Dealing with a Devouring Mother can be challenging, but it's essential to establish boundaries and prioritize your well-being. 

In this article, we'll explore strategies for coping with a Devouring Mother and finding a balance in your relationship.Identifying a Devouring Mother can be the first step toward addressing the issue. 


Here are some common signs


- A Devouring Mother may intrude excessively into your personal life, making decisions on your behalf without considering your wishes or autonomy.- Guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, and manipulation tactics are often employed to control your actions and feelings.


- A Devouring Mother may disregard your boundaries, invading your privacy or expecting you to be constantly available to meet her needs.


- There's often a sense of dependency cultivated by the Devouring Mother, where she relies on you excessively for emotional support or validation.Strategies for Dealing with a Devouring MotherDealing with a Devouring Mother requires patience, assertiveness, and self-care.


Here are some strategies to consider


- Clearly communicate your boundaries and assert your need for space and autonomy. Be firm yet respectful in setting limits on how much involvement or control your mother has in your life.


- Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, and prioritise your needs over those of your mother when necessary.


- Reach out to a therapist for support and guidance. 


- Express your feelings and concerns to your mother in a calm and assertive manner. Use "I" statements to convey how her behavior impacts you, and be open to having an honest dialogue about improving your relationship.


- It's essential to set limits on the amount of time and energy you devote to catering to your mother's needs. Learn to say no when necessary and prioritise your own well-being.


- Cultivate your independence and autonomy by pursuing your interests, goals, and aspirations. Establishing a sense of self separate from your mother's expectations can help foster a healthier dynamic in your relationship.


Through our coaching sessions, we can assist you in developing practical strategies for coping with a Devouring Mother, building resilience, and cultivating a sense of empowerment in your relationship. Our goal is to empower you to assert your needs, establish healthy boundaries, and find balance and fulfilment in your connections with your mother and beyond.

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